In 12 years of coaching women, I’ve seen every mistake in the book, and here’s one of the biggest.
By the way . . . if you’re not attracting the man you want, you’re probably experiencing the same issue over and over again!
Recently I’ve been experimenting with messaging on Tinder and see the same types of messages along the lines of:
He: Hi! How are you? You: Hi, I’m fine. How are you? He: I’m ok. What are you doing? You: I’m busy working. You? You: I’m at work too.
Can you spot the issue there?
If you could choose right now, would you rather have what I call “robot-like talk” 🤖 or have a great conversation that increases attraction and leads to an exciting date? The latter, right?
So . . . what makes the difference? One word: playfulness! 😉 How playful are you? Let’s approach it from a scientific “brain-based” perspective. A man’s brain can be separated into three specific categories: 1) Primal brain - 70% 2) Emotional Brain - 20% 3) Rational Brain - 10% The primal brain is about basic wants, needs and desires for things that are a source of pleasure like sex, food and sleep. Think of an animal that eats, sleeps and procreates. The emotional brain is about thoughts, behaviors, actions and experiences that are a source of emotions and feelings like curiosity, joy and happiness. Think of a child who wants to be silly, play and jump around. The rational brain is about logic, respond sibility and systems that are a source of stability, law and order in our modern world. Think of a businessman who negotiates a contract. So . . . what does it have to do with you messaging men? Well . . . when it comes to attraction, dating and falling in love, men think and make decisions primarily with their primal and emotional brain—not with their rational brain. It’s just human nature. High-quality men seek out women who they’re attracted to, interested in and desire. You don’t invest your time, energy and resources into someone who’s just average, plain or low-quality . . . right? Of course not! You search for some one special! And so do men you meet! You want to become a Chooser who has options of high-quality men to choose from, right? Well . . . here is the big first step to becoming the Chooser: Playfulness! 😉 This means messaging men in a playful way that’s interesting, funny or sexual, that appeals to their primal and emotional brain.
You see, the big mistake most women are making with men is they are attempting to appeal to a man’s rational brain. In an effort to attract their ideal man, they appeal to the tiny fraction of their brain that plays just a tiny role in the dating process. And when you dismiss, ignore and overlook 90% of a man’s brain . . . . . . you end up having “robot-like talks” 🤖 and struggling to spark attraction, create emotional intimacy and build lasting connection with men. Being playful in messaging men makes it easy for you to be attractive, interesting and desirable! But playfulness doesn’t just make becoming a Chooser easier, it makes you stand out from everyone else because it’s so much easier for you to communicate with men when you actually know and apply what works with them. Playfulness doesn’t mean that men will not take you “seriously” or think “wrong things” about you. It does the opposite! It gets you out of the box of the average and boring. Playfulness informs the biggest parts of a man’s brain that you are different. You’re a source of energy they’re drawn to, can’t resist and want more of. . . . and now that these men see you as a special, one-in-a-million woman . . . and your messaging increases their attraction, interest and desire . . . you can go on to choosing the best man for you. So . . . how playful are YOU? 😉 Can men you’re messaging say that you’re playful? If they don’t think of you that way . . . . . . how do you ever expect them to be attracted to you, pursue you and commit to you? So if this is something you want, here’s how to get started: In tomorrow’s email (part II), I’m going to reveal the Three Indicators of Playful (and Successful) Messaging that will get the kind of men you want to respond to you! Then, in the email after tomorrow (Part III), I’ll share my “Messaging Men Framework” so you can walk away knowing exactly what to say and how to say it!