By now, you already know that being playful is the key to sparking attraction, getting attention, creating emotional intimacy and lasting connection with men.
. . . and when you look at where the dating space is going (more apps and more people joining them—more distractions and competition!) mastering messaging men is more important than ever!
So, if you haven’t read through PART 1 of my “BETTER Messaging Men” training, click here to start. Today, I’m going to walk you through the Three Indicators of Playful (and Successful) Messaging that will get the kind of men you want to respond to you! And a quick 3-step messaging test you can use to see if you’re getting better at messaging men. Ready?
Three Indicators of Playful (and Successful) Messaging
#1. It’s interesting. 😉
When you begin to message in an original, creative, unusual, different or intriguing way that breaks a stereotype and appeals to a man’s emotional brain, you’re going to not only get a man’s attention but also get them really curious and increase their desire to get to know you.
I still see a lot of women communicating in boring, unoriginal and predictable ways. The response “I’m fine” to a man’s “How are you doing?” is okay . . . but it’s not going to make you stand out from ten other women who say the same thing. And, it doesn't make any man think, “Wow, tell me more! I’m really interested.”
Why make your messages so average if you aren’t average? When you know how to message men you wish to attract, you can make it really interesting and therefore get the highest quality of men to choose from! But saying exactly what everyone else is saying means staying stuck and wasting time.
#2. It’s funny. 😉
All men want to have fun. When they see that you’re light and playful, like to be silly and have fun, they’ll want to be around you. As you joke around, you stand out from most women who take things very seriously and personally—or those who expect men to “make them laugh.” Many women play it safe and avoid using humor in messaging men. Why? Because they may feel insecure and have a fear of being judged, misunderstood and rejected by men.
But without having fun, it’s tough to evoke those emotions that create attraction, passion and desire in men. A woman who can be funny and even have self-irony is likely to be perceived by men as a smart, confident and highly desirable woman. You can choose to have fun right now . . . because it’s so good for you (your mood, your attitude, your energy vibration)! And that’s what men are really looking for!
#3. It’s sexual (subtly). 😉
One of the most negative beliefs I’ve seen that women have (and I’ve been guilty of this one as well!), is hiding or downplaying sexuality because they’re afraid that men will “take it the wrong way” or “read them wrong.” Wrong! Subtle sexual communication is a great thing! It’s the fuel that gets a man to shift from one basic stage of the dating process to the next. Think of it this way: Attraction: He swiped right. Interest: He messaged you. Desire: He asked you out. Action: He took you on a first date. But the biggest mistake women make in messaging men is either avoiding or shutting down sexually, and then wondering why it fizzled out and never led to an actual date. It’s highly unlikely that subtly sexual messaging will result in him jumping on you like a tiger in a middle of a cafe on your first date. But it’s highly likely to get a man to keep messaging you, ask for your phone number and actually go on a date!
So, do your messages have a subtly sexual tone? Sexual hints? If so, good! And now, here’s a quick 3-step messaging test you can use to see if you’re getting better at messaging men. Before you send him a message you just wrote, ask yourself: Step #1: “Is it interesting?” Step #2: “Is it funny?” Step #3: “Is it sexual?”
If it’s none of the three, do not send it! If it’s one or more of the three, go ahead and send it. I can guarantee you with 90% certainty that he’s going to respond. Remember, 90% of a man’s brain is non-rational when it comes to dating, sex and intimate relationships. This means men are actively using their primal and emotional parts of the brain that want to be entertained, play and have sex. So . . . if you’re tapping into those parts in your messaging men, that means: a lot of men will be messaging you! When I messaged on Tinder using these three simple ingredients, I had over 95% success rate! Men of different educational and socio-economic backgrounds (from CEOs to truck drivers), of different ages (from 30 to 60) and of different locations (from Moscow to New York City) consistently responded to my messages.
We are absolutely on to something here! But . . . we aren’t finished! This 3-step test tells us that there is a demand and a desire for this type of messaging. However, we haven’t fully mastered messaging just yet. That’s why in Part III, I’ll break down the 4-Part Messaging Men Framework that you can use to stand out with your authenticity, no matter how crowded, busy and competitive the dating space may feel right now!
To reserve your seat for the Attract Your Man Messaging Workshop ($47) before the investment goes up to $147 on Friday at midnight, click here.