This unique and different perspective on Signs of an Emotionally Unavailable Man is based on personality typing.
The truth is that the level of emotional availability a man has depends on his personality type. There are four main personality types. While each person has access to their own emotions and feelings, how deep they can be varies with their type and the type of the person they’re in a relationship with. Some types are inherently compatible and some are not.
Here’s a quick background of these types based on the personality typing system called Eniostyle, developed in the 1980s based on Carl Jung’s personality types.
The four main types can be easily remembered as the four cardinal directions or nautical points: North, East, South and West. Each person has all four of these types or functions but in different proportions, with one being the dominant type that predetermines their life’s mission and certain qualities that align with that mission. It also determines their inherent strengths and weaknesses, core values, subconscious needs, wants and preferences.
The North mission is to keep a system. Keywords are: plan, consistency, traditions, logic, structure, law and order. North is the most logical and least emotional of all types. Therefore, his level of emotional availability is going to be lower than others. While he’s reliable, predictable and consistent, he’s likely to lack excitement, romance and spontaneity. He is likely to be reserved and unwilling to express his emotions and be vulnerable—especially in public. He can be perceived as “avoidant” when others expect him to be more emotionally available than he’s capable of being.
The East mission is to create new ideas. Keywords are: creativity, interest, freedom, romance and excitement. East is the most exciting, original, unusual of all types, and the least predictable, consistent and reliable. Therefore, his level of emotional availability is going to vary based on what currently occupies his mind. He’s likely to be excited, romantic and creative in the expression of his emotions one moment, and completely changed in the next moment. He can send conflicting and contradictory signals that leave you wondering what you did wrong. The reality is you did nothing wrong. It’s simply the nature of his type, which is driven by interest and a constant “inner dialogue” that he’s having with himself that gets his mind to generate endless ideas which distract him and take him in multiple directions at the speed of light. This type is responsible for most of women’s tears, sleepless nights and broken hearts. He can be perceived as avoidant and non-committal, when others expect him to be more emotionally available than he’s willing to be in that specific moment.
The South mission is to feel. Keywords are: love, energy, emotions, feelings, connection and relationships. South is the most emotionally available of all types and the most connected to their feelings. Therefore, his level of emotional availability will be the highest. He’s likely to always have time and energy to talk about emotions, share his feelings and connect with you. He’ll want to talk about relationships any time you want to. He’ll be open, vulnerable and honest about his feelings. He can make you feel seen and heard like never before. He can be perceived as anxious when others don’t reciprocate his high level of emotional availability.
The West mission is to grow. Keywords are: power, strength, charisma, ambition, success, hierarchy and impact. West is the most powerful, bold, driven, and strongest of all types. Therefore, his level of emotional availability will depend on his current level of top priorities that are tied to his ability to make an impact in society. He’s likely to have limited time and energy for relationships, which can take second place after his career goals. He’s likely to be avoidant and defensive, when others expect him to be more emotionally available than he wants to be.
When you start looking at signs of emotionally unavailable men through the prism of personality types—instead of the generic false assumption that all men have the same signs of emotional unavailability—you can actually make a better choice of life partner based on the compatibility of your type and his type, and show up in much more powerful and effective ways in your communication, dating and relationships with men.
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