If you wonder how to get into a relationship with an alpha man and, most importantly, how to avoid losing him, I’m about to reveal the biggest mistakes women make with these men.
Let’s get right into the top five:
Mistake #1: Trying to control him
In my relationship, I have to catch myself before I say things like, “You said you’d be home by 7:00 and it’s already 7:15. I want you to call me if you’re running late, even if it’s 15 minutes.” If I said this, he’d feel defensive and most likely we’d end up arguing and wasting an entire evening.
If you’re dating, you could be making this mistake by texting him things like, “You said you’d call me at 9:00 but it’s already 9:30 and I still haven’t heard from you.”
Mistake #2: Trying to control the outcome
I often tell my clients, “Be committed, but not attached to the outcome.”
In my relationship, I have to remind myself of what I’m committed to — a loving lasting relationship — and let go of the attachment to a specific outcome, like going to the south of France on our next vacation. I put it on the vision board, I told my friends we are going, but my husband doesn’t want to travel outside of the U.S. now. If I were fighting him and pushing for it, he’d fight and push back and we’d likely end up going nowhere — both in our relationship and vacation plans.
If you’re dating, you could be making this mistake by initiating, coordinating and planning where and what you’re going to do on your dates. And, after a few weeks of dating, you could ruin what you’ve been building when you bring up a question like, “So, where do you think this relationship is going?”
Mistake #3: Telling him what to do
This is a real challenge for me, given that I give advice to others for a living. I have to catch myself before I tell him things like, “You should meditate with me so you can release daily stress easily” or “You shouldn’t drink alcohol so that your body becomes leaner faster.” Even though I have the best intention in mind, it’s not my business to tell him what he should or shouldn’t do. The only time it’s appropriate is when he comes to me and asks for advice.
If you’re dating, you could be making this mistake by criticizing and judging him for what he does or doesn’t do in early stages of dating. For instance, he asks you out to an art gallery opening, but you’re telling him “Let’s go to this new Broadway show instead. You should call the theater and see if they have tickets for next Tuesday.”
Mistake #4: Trying to change him
Being in a 13-year committed relationship with an alpha man, I have to remind myself why I fell in love with my husband. I remember how free we felt and how much fun we had on our first dates when time didn’t exist. Well, he’s still the kind of man who loves to feel free (whether it’s driving a power boat or skiing double black runs), have fun and forget about time. So, when he’s playing golf with his buddies, I can’t resent him or tell him to only spend time with me and our son.
If you’re dating, you could be making this mistake by projecting your ideal man list onto a guy you’re dating. For example, instead of believing him when he tells you, “I’m not looking for a long-term relationship,” you might dismiss it, thinking you’ll be able to change him and turn him into a devoted family man.
Mistake #5: Trying to get him to say “Yes”
When my husband says “No” to something I want, whether it’s my choice of a movie (but it’s based on a true love story) or me going to the A-Fest in Ibiza (but I was selected to go), I had to learn to take “No” for the answer. Because if continue to push (“What do you mean, ‘No’?”), demand (“I need you to be okay with me going anywhere I want”) or as for explanations (“Why can’t I go to Ibiza by myself?”), it’s going to create drama and put stress on our relationship that no trip is worth.
If you’re dating, you could be making this mistake when a guy you’re dating tells you he can’t come with you to your friend’s birthday and you ask him “Why can’t you?” Or, if he texts you saying he’ll have to work on Saturday and won’t be able to go on a hike with you and you text him back “Why do you have to work on the weekend? Can you work after the hike?”
Now, you might be reading this and thinking, “She’s powerless and has no say in her relationship.” You’d be surprised to know that it’s the exact opposite. I have unlimited power in expressing my wants, needs, and desires without making my man feel manipulated, controlled or emasculated (which would only put any real man on the defensive.) My husband can be himself, feel respected (which men value more than feeling loved) and unconditionally accepted by me. And when a man feels this way, he’ll do ANYTHING to please you, make you happy and shower you with love.
In over 12 years of helping women find their soulmates, I see that the biggest mistake so many single women make is subconsciously choosing not compatible type of men for them.
The reality is that if you don’t know your personality type and your ideal man’s type, you can struggle in dating for years and still be single. That is why I created a three-part live FREE training “Attract Your Man” so that you can discover the most effective, easiest and fastest way to find love without wasting time and energy. By the end of this free training, you will walk away with the entire roadmap for how you too can finally attract your ideal type of man. Click this link to register now!